Describe a time when you used one of these poor listening styles. What happened? How do you think the other person felt? How did you feel afterwards? What are you doing now to avoid poor listening after reading this habit?
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I really tend to use selective listening when I’m bored but don’t want the person whom I’m engaging in conversation with to feel not listened to.
ReplyDeleteActually, yesterday, it was about 2 am and my sister couldn’t sleep. So naturally, she woke me up and started talking to me. Dear Bob, I was tired. I had a long day and here she was talking & talking nonsense. After a while she noticed I wasn’t really listening & called me on it. So, I used selective listening and only commented or really cared if she mentioned something interesting. After a while she also noticed this too and started ranting about how poorly I listen. She was hurt. I felt like a total jerk afterwards.
Now I know that if I just would have told her how I felt she may have left me sleep. But, now I know if I want her ever to listen to me I have to listen first.
There has been a lot of times when I've spaced out in conversations. Usually when this happens, the other person gets mad because I completely ignored the entire conversation. I would feel bad at the fact that I wasn't listening. What I'm doing now is catching myself in the process of spacing out. That actually helps.
ReplyDeleteI once used "pretend listening." When my sister once came home from school, she started telling me about what happened at school. I was watching t.v, and I just pretended to listen by nodding my head. I think that my sister felt left out because I wasn't listening, and afterwards, I felt bad for not listening to her so I apologized. What I'm doing right now is, thinking about the 7 habits book everytime someone talks to me, and I will always listen.
ReplyDeleteI space out a lot during boring conversations. I hardly ever space out when it's a face-to-face conversation, but I do this a lot when I'm on the phone with someone. When they notice I'm not really listening they make up an excuse and say they have to go. I feel really bad afterwards because I know I've hurt their feelings. What I'm doing to stop this from happening is that I'm catching myself whenever I start to think about something else and pay attention to what the person is saying.
ReplyDeleteGood job Lili and Jocelyn! Those are very good ways to keep on a good track.
ReplyDeleteI usually use the selective listening. I’m not proud of it but it’s true. When I am with my friends I am usually only interested in something juicy or funny. If its about their weekend I don’t usually listen. I can tell when they know what I am doing and I can see the hurt in their faces. This doesn’t only happen in school or with my friends it usually happens in soccer, or with my parents. I feel like a real jerk and I am apologizing all the time for it. I’m trying to change this bad habit by listening and thinking to myself; “If this were me talking would I listen or would I ignore myself?” I know it’s kind of weird to talk to yourself but since I started reading this book I have started talking to myself more and I see it in a good way now
ReplyDeleteWhat I do a lot is space out. For example, my cousin was talking to me and said something about music. Then that got me wondering about my friend who is putting music in my mp3 player and she’s been taking weeks on it. Out of nowhere she was talking about going outside to ride bikes. I said I was sorry for dozing of on her and she told me the whole story again while we were riding bikes.
ReplyDeleteOnce I didn’t understand my homework so I asked my dad if he could explain it to me. When he was explaining I wasn’t listening. I was spacing out. When he finished he said “So do you get it now?” I just nodded my head but then when I went back to work I didn’t understand it. I told him that I wasn’t paying attention and apologized. He explained it to me one more time and I understood. After that time I decided to listen more often when I’m in a conversation.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I do that is poor listening style is spacing out. Sometimes that I space out is when I am really bored or I do not care what the person is talking about. Or another time that I space out is when people are bothering me while I do work or something distracts me. At the end of the conversation I would usually say "what" and they would just say never mind.
ReplyDeleteI have a tendency of spacing out on conversations, or using selective listening. When the person notices that I am doing one of these two bad listening techniques, they usually get mad at me or they get sad, because I was not listening to them. I feel really bad for the person that was talking to me, because I was being a really rude person. I remember when my friend was talking to me on the phone, he was talking to me about a little problem that he had, at first I did listen like a true friend, but then I started spacing out of the conversation. Then after some time, he noticed that I wasn’t listening to his problems, so he got mad at me and just told me to forget about it and hung up. Then I went over to his house, and told him that I was sorry, then he told me his problems again, but this time I did listen to his story, completely and without spacing out. What I’m doing so that I wont space out is that every time I’m having a conversation, I always remember myself, not to be rude by spacing out or using selective listening. So far, these two new techniques that I have developed, are working really good. During a new conversation, I don’t get spaced out no more, or I don’t use selective listening.
ReplyDeleteDuring school one of my teachers had taken the time to help me in a subject I needed help in and I completely spaced out. I know that my teacher felt disrespected because she had been using her time to help me instead of doing something more important and I wasn’t even paying attention. When my teacher stop teaching me later that day I was talking to my sister and she was ignoring me and that made me think about how I ignored my teacher. I felt dumb when I was talking to my sister because she wasn’t paying attention and I felt like I was talking to myself. What I am doing now to make sure I don’t space out is that I keep eye contact with the speaker; I nod my head, and keep my mind on the subject that is being talked about.
ReplyDeleteI remember that once I was on the phone with my cousin and I wasn't really paying attention because I was really daydreaming and then my cousin asked me a question in which left me dumbfounded because I had no clue what she was talking about then am like "Wait what?" and she was like "You weren't listening".I felt really bad and specially because she was one of the few persons who listened to me and I couldn't listen to her for five minutes! Five minutes! I really felt guilty.To avoid this from happening I pay really close attention to what I am doing and try to get in the conversation more so I am more involved in it.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I do that is poor listening style is spacing out. I space out either when I am really bored, or just don’t care about what the person is saying to me. When I finally realize that the person has noticed that I wasn’t paying attention, I would say “sorry what did you say?” they would say “never mind.” At that point that person probably feels very disappointed because at first that person was all glad that they were telling me this, and then they would find out that I didn’t care, that would really bring them down. Afterwards I would feel very disappointed at myself. I know I wouldn’t like if I was talking to someone and they just completely spaced out and had no idea of what I had just said. What I am doing right now is catching myself in the process of spacing out. That actually helps.
ReplyDeleteI have a really bad habit of spacing out during conversations. It doesn’t matter who I am having the conversation with, most of the time I end up spacing out during the whole time they are talking. I remember the time that my cousin that by the way is very shy and closed minded came up to me and told me about a problem she was having. At first I was really paying attention cause I wanted to help but then after some time I just stopped listening completely and spaced out. She noticed that I had spaced out and then she got pretty upset. I felt really bad after that because she came to me in the first place out of all the other people just wanting someone to listen to her and help her. After that I went to her and told her how sorry I was and that I wasn’t going to let it happen again. I let her tell me her problem and this time I really listened to her. I do numerous things to help myself from spacing out during conversations with other people. One thing I do is that I put myself in their place and think about how I would feel if someone would space out when I am talking to them. Using this technique has really helped me out a lot with not spacing out.
ReplyDeleteOnce when I came from school, I asked my brother if he could explain something I didn't get. While he was explaining, I was spacing out and he noticed and I ended up not getting it, I think my brother thought that he just wasted his time because I wasn't listening. I felt bad and ended up apologizing to him and he ended up explaning again but this time I was listening and ended up getting it perfectly. I am paying more attention to people when they are speaking in order to avoid spacing out.
ReplyDeleteMy grandma loves telling her childhood stories to me. I don’t really give her my full attention, I space out. I know this hurts her, and it hurts me too. After reading the 7 Habits book I’ve decided to listen to my grandma, I should take the time to listen to her. I know that if I was in her position I would want people to listen to me, and i would feel bad if they did not want to.
ReplyDeleteI space out during conversations. My sister is always talking to me about her thoughts and stuff but I usually tend to just nod my head and pretend to listen, but then afterwards I feel really bad because maybe she might have a problem she would need help with and by not listening to her I might not be able to help her, and when I need someone to listen to me I go to her and when I find out she isn't listening I get really mad at her then I reflect that she might feel the same way when I don't listen to her and I realize that I only want all the attention on me. Now after reading The 7 habits I try to break this habit that will make me a better person.
ReplyDeleteOne time while having a conversation with my best friend, I totally zoned her out. My mind was focused on something else and just couldn’t focus on what she was saying. So I just pretended to listen and nodded every time she would pause. Then all of a sudden I heard her say “Hello, Abigail!” I shook my head trying to refocus and then she asked me what I think she should do. I apologized and told her I didn’t hear a word she was saying. She just chuckled and repeated herself. I’m not sure how she felt but I’m guessing embarrassed because the whole time I was just ignoring her and she really neded my advice. Now I try my best to stay focused and I try to keep myself from zoning people out.
ReplyDeleteI do pretend listening and word listening. When I do this must of time the person doesn't care but when the person does care they get really mad. One time I actually listened to that and what he was saying, it turns out if you do listen to the person you may learn something interesting.
ReplyDeleteThe one thing I do is pretend listening. I do this a lot with my brother. Every time we are walking from school he tells me what he did at school that day. Sometimes I don’t listen and then he gets like mad or sad that I don’t listen and then like 10 minutes later I say sorry to him because I don’t like him being sad. The thing now that I do to actually listen to him is I make eye contact with him and it actually works and he does some awesome things with his teachers.
ReplyDeleteOnce in 5th grade during math class I spaced out and started to day dream and by the time I came back to my senses I missed the entire math lesson. Unfortunately we had to do a small math project and as you can predict I wasn’t the most helpful.
ReplyDeleteI have used pretend listening with my brother. There was one tie when he was telling me something about what he did at school and I had pretended to listen to what he was saying. Then he told me that I never cared about what he says. I can tell that what I did really hurt him. Afterwards, I felt really bad and apologized to him. What I am doing pretend listening is to think to myself about how I would feel if they did that to me.
ReplyDeleteOnce I asked my cousin to help me with my homework because I didn’t understand it. We both sat down and he was explaining everything to me, but I wasn’t listening I was too busy spacing out. After he was done he asked me if I understood the problem and of course I nodded my head saying, “Yes, I understood it.” When I really didn’t. Before he walked away I told him that I didn’t listen to a word he said and I apologized. So, he then explained it to me again. And this time I really did pay attention.
ReplyDeleteI word listen a lot. When relatives come over the holidays they always have long stories to tell. I often just word listen and once I hear something interested I jump in and talk. I usually feel bad about interrupting and not listening to their stories.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I really space out a lot. I can start out listening attentively to someone but most of the times something they say triggers my memory and I end up hurting some bodies feelings because of my ignorance. What I do know to prevent this is that when I’m talking to someone I pay close attention and don’t let anything distract me. By doing this it also helps me stay focus on other things.
ReplyDeleteI usually use selective listening. I only listen to things that are to my convinence. Once when I asked my dad if I could go to the movies with my cousin and her friends at night he said yes, but only if and adult went inside to see the movie with us but I only told my mom that he said yes. When I got back I got in SOOOOOO much trouble!!!!
ReplyDeleteBecause of this I was determind to change! I didn't want to get in trouble because of my poor listening...